rough start

Paige and I just got back from riding Ainsleigh to school on our bikes. I have been trying to take her a different way so that she ends up at the crosswalk where she can ride across a somewhat busy street with the help of the school crossing guards. I am trying to prepare us both for the time when she can I let her ride by herself. It will be much easier if I know she is crossing there.

Like many times in our life together, she has decided this is something she "hates" doing. There is no logical reason for this. It is just something she has set her will against and therefore it is grounds for battle now. So it was THAT kind of morning. But I can't blame her too much. I was kind of hard on her with my "there will be no friends after school today" and "we are not riding bikes to school for the rest of the week because you have lost the privilege" threats. She hates crossing on the crosswalk, well I hate mornings like this.

It has been a rough week for all of us. Last night we lost power right before bedtime, while we were reading. The silence in the house made it so hard to sleep that I did a lot of thinking. You know the kind of restless, you should be sleeping but can't make your mind stop solving problems kind of night. I am hoping that things get better for all of us. It seems that we are not alone in our struggles. The transition to motherhood has been a difficult one for me. I know, it has been a few years so you would think I'd have worked out all the kinks by now but I am trying to have peace with my decision to stay home. I am really grateful that we can do it. I'm always questioning it though. It has been hard giving up my independence. I felt so much more stable when I knew I could make my own way without depending on anyone else. I know it will come again but it is hard for me as I'm sure it is for most stay at home moms.

So Ainsleigh is at school, Tim is at work, Paige and I are watching Curious George and another week has officially begun. I can only hope it is a good one, we all need it.

helloo!!??

I can't believe it has been over a year since I've posted. So much has happened and I really miss having things documented here. I love reading back over the blog and remembering things that I have completely forgotten.

The plan is to really use this blog as a journal. So if anyone other than me reads it, I am sorry if it bores you to tears.

My two year old and seven year old. Time is flying.

Ainsleigh has started second grade. She turned 7 in July and this year is completely different than last year. I don't know if it is the teacher or the fact that her bff, Abby, is in a different class for the first time. We shed tears over that but I think it has encouraged Ainsleigh to get to know some other kids better. The first day was hard. I watched her walk into class a little awkwardly and unsure of herself. She moved past it quickly and so far it has been awesome. She actually loves to go to school. We have had lots of nights with school friends over...a blessing and a curse but you'll have that I suppose. She is a great at math and a really good reader. She tested at a 4th grade level at the beginning of this year.

I would love to homeschool her and move at her pace. We found some really great resources and groups that we could join locally. I've studied up on how we could use her art as part of her studies since she seems to love to learn that way. I was so excited but it just didn't happen this year. She is flourishing in school and obviously I'm proud of her and happy she's happy.

Some serious freckles have popped out this summer. I love them!

Paige and I get a little bored without her at home. I think I might lose my mind if I watch another barbie movie. We are working on potty training and Paige is once again taking really awesome naps that I missed with Ainsleigh home over the summer. One day she told me, "Mommy, Ainlee's my best friend. I reeeeeally love her!" I told that was nice and I loved her and she said, "No, I love Ainlee." We ride Ainsleigh to school on our bikes every morning though, so goodbyes aren't too bad.

Paige and her waffle and Ainsleigh with her girlified boy's bike

Summer break flew by. We read lots of books, starting out with sucky fairy and mermaid books that looked popular at the bookstore. Then we went back to the Little House books and read Little House on the Prairie and Farmer Boy. We had read Little House in the Big Woods at least two times and it is still Ainsleigh's favorite, by far. There were a few Series of Unfortunate Events books thrown in, plus The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. We got the movies for those and talked about how books are usually better than movies. Then we read my personal junior high favorite, A Wrinkle in Time. I can't believe how much she loved it! I was so proud.

Now we are reading On the Banks of Plum Creek. I just love these books. We learn so much from them. She loves to hear how they made different things but I was really interested in how Little House on the Prairie did such good job of respectfully teaching about the conflict between the settlers and the Native Americans. Better than any textbook could. Seeing it through a child's eyes with Laura as at the narrator is so honest and straightforward.

Paige is talking a lot now. We are cracking up because she answers so many things with "Yes" except she says it more like "Yeths!" There is a lot of spit involved with her S's but she's getting much better. She loves to dance and performs for us at least once a day. She reminds me so much of her Aunt Carly. I could totally see her performing for the nursery at church and singing Madonna's "Papa don't preach." Carly, that was awesome. Mom was so proud. Anyway...

My sister, Meghan is back visiting with her family and we spent last Saturday with them. Ainsleigh and Eden are the same age and they look so grown up playing together. They have been skyping and talking on the phone a lot. I think sometimes, between Grandma and Eden, Ainsleigh talks on the phone more than I do!

Paige and I are planning to do some drawing and sewing to round out our day. Hopefully Barbie can stay put away for one day. Gah! I hope so.

Ainsleigh has some news!

I love my Ainsleigh. She is a very smart, outgoing, ambitious little girl. She has had some big things happen in her life, some that were wonderful, and some that were very difficult, and some that were a little of both. Tim and I have struggled lately, trying to decide what is best for her. I have been homeschooling and it has been wonderful and easy. Her idea of fun has always been reading, drawing, and learning so it isn't hard to get her interested in actual schoolwork. She is already reading basic words, and can tell you all about silent "e" and how it can change the sound of a word.

But things have been hard at home. We've got a few stressful situations going on and a baby sister that takes up a lot of my time and I have felt distracted. I have prayed about what to do and for the wisdom to know what is best. Not what I think is best, or what other people tell me is best, but what will be most beneficial for Ainsleigh.

Today we woke up just like any other day. I decided to take the girls for a walk. I mentioned to Ainsleigh that maybe we would visit the school and arrange for a visit maybe next week. As we walked, I prayed that God would give me wisdom and discernment so that I would know if it would be a good place for Ainsleigh to grow and learn. We walked in to find a very laid back environment. We were able to go out for recess and meet lots of kids. We stayed for reading time and library time, PE, and milk time. Paige was a big hit! Then I left, and let Ainsleigh finish out the day. The kids were very friendly and welcomed her so immediately! So tomorrow she will go again!

I'm still not sure if this is the right thing or not but it isn't in cement. We can always homeschool again. I have loved our time learning together, and I realized that this doesn't mean that it ends. But maybe this will give Ainsleigh time away from the stress at home and she will grow, make friends, and encourage her classmates.

I mentioned to the teacher that I would be willing to come in and help anytime if she needed me. She seemed open to that. Or maybe she thinks I'm sort of a hovering parent. Hmm...

Well, I like to think of it as "involved." And I plan to be just that. Actually, very involved. Hello Alwood Elementary!