Ainsleigh has some news!

I love my Ainsleigh. She is a very smart, outgoing, ambitious little girl. She has had some big things happen in her life, some that were wonderful, and some that were very difficult, and some that were a little of both. Tim and I have struggled lately, trying to decide what is best for her. I have been homeschooling and it has been wonderful and easy. Her idea of fun has always been reading, drawing, and learning so it isn't hard to get her interested in actual schoolwork. She is already reading basic words, and can tell you all about silent "e" and how it can change the sound of a word.

But things have been hard at home. We've got a few stressful situations going on and a baby sister that takes up a lot of my time and I have felt distracted. I have prayed about what to do and for the wisdom to know what is best. Not what I think is best, or what other people tell me is best, but what will be most beneficial for Ainsleigh.

Today we woke up just like any other day. I decided to take the girls for a walk. I mentioned to Ainsleigh that maybe we would visit the school and arrange for a visit maybe next week. As we walked, I prayed that God would give me wisdom and discernment so that I would know if it would be a good place for Ainsleigh to grow and learn. We walked in to find a very laid back environment. We were able to go out for recess and meet lots of kids. We stayed for reading time and library time, PE, and milk time. Paige was a big hit! Then I left, and let Ainsleigh finish out the day. The kids were very friendly and welcomed her so immediately! So tomorrow she will go again!

I'm still not sure if this is the right thing or not but it isn't in cement. We can always homeschool again. I have loved our time learning together, and I realized that this doesn't mean that it ends. But maybe this will give Ainsleigh time away from the stress at home and she will grow, make friends, and encourage her classmates.

I mentioned to the teacher that I would be willing to come in and help anytime if she needed me. She seemed open to that. Or maybe she thinks I'm sort of a hovering parent. Hmm...

Well, I like to think of it as "involved." And I plan to be just that. Actually, very involved. Hello Alwood Elementary!

baby steps

Poor Ainsleigh. I do take movies of her too. She actually just wants to be the one behind the camera these days. Paige has been neglecting crawling in favor of her new favorite thing to do; walking behind Ainsleigh's old mail cart toy. She is doing so well. She gets mad and grunts when she gets stuck and needs help turning around, but giggles when she sees us watching her and clapping for her. We've all agreed that she is the goofiest Boniger child yet. Ainsleigh has the title for cleverly funny (even if she doesn't mean to be) but Paige is goofy. The two of them together though, now that makes me really smile.

Paige's current vocabulary

da = daddy

ma or mum mum = mommy

ahh ma = Ainsleigh (first thing in the morning she lunges for Ainsleigh to wake her up yelling this. At night she yells it at her in the dark, like she's trying to keep her awake.)

ba = Bye! This is often accompanied by a wave which she stares at, astonished that she can make her hand bend like that. (she also yells "Ba!" when she sees a phone or when I hang up after a conversation)

haaaa = hi, also accompanied by a wave

nom nom = "Give me that food right now, mom!" Gets louder the longer she has to wait.

almost forgot...

AH! AH! = When reaching for something she can't seem to get by herself.

hot air balloon launch

Dear Ainsleigh,

Five years ago today...

I had no idea what it would be like

to cuddle you close

or be cuddled by you.

To hold your little hand in mine

and watch it grow.

To see you take your first steps

and hear your little voice

change from that of a 2 year old

to that of a quite eloquent little 5 year old.

I could not imagine

the attention span you would have.

That you could listen

all day

to the same book

but already have it memorized

after the first reading.

I didn't know that you

would be a fabulous little artist

that you would be happy

spending your days

with nothing but a notepad and a pencil.

Or that you would sit by my side

day in and day out

as we took care of a little baby

not meant for this Earth.

And that you would comprehend that.

And love her with all of your heart. Still.

When you were just two.

But then, when you were four,

you would welcome

another baby sister

who you would love with all of your heart

and want to name smileyface

or orange minge.

And who you would make giggle.

Like no one else could.

How could I know

that you would love to dance,

to sing, to pet every dog you see?

Or that you would need

to sit by my side

every morning

and drink your milk

before your day could really start.

And you would have

computer skills unmatched

by anyone your age.

You would make your

Daddy so proud.

And that you would
love to cook.

To go to starbucks

and color with mommy.

That you would be so happy

in those little moments.

I didn't know

that I could look

at anyone

and love them

so

much.

With my whole heart.

You are a very cool

fascinating

smart

beautiful

confident

brown-eyed girl.

Five years ago I had no idea

what I had been missing all those years before.

Happy 5th Birthday my daughter!

Change...

Things around here are changing. Paige is really growing, eating solids, rolling herself wherevershe wants to go, grabbing whatever she wants, and making noises that sound a little more like real talking. But most of all, Ainsleigh is growing up. She's really ready for kindergarten now. She tells people, "The next time I go to school, it won't just be for round-up. It will be all day long, like real school."

In the past month, she has gotten her ears pierced, rode her bike down a big hill, feet held out over the pedals with no fear. She has been a big help to me, an entertainer to her baby sister. I've watched her at playdates, helping the smaller kids and talking to them with gentleness. She isn't perfect, but she is really maturing. It is happening a little too fast.

That is why, two days ago, when I mentioned that maybe it would be nice if she cut her hair a little shorter for summer, I wasn't actually prepared for her to agree. Then, when it came time to make that cut, I just couldn't do it. But she wasn't backing down. "It's okay Mommy, just do it. It will grow back."

I suppose it will grow back. I put on a brave face and told her it would probably be long by her birthday. But she has no regrets. Daddy was a little sad to see her long hair gone too. It is really growing on us now. It bounces with her.

hello sun!

Welcome back warm weather! We have spent everyday this week outside, with me being leery of sunburn. Fortunately, the only damage is some rosy cheeks. Ainsleigh tans. But the creamy white, nearly translucent baby skin worries me. Today I stood with baby Paige asleep in the sling, enjoying the cool breeze blowing against her sweet cheeks and the spaces between her body and mine, watching Ainsleigh laugh while she played with the other kids spraying themselves with water. Getting soaked, but not caring a bit! It brought back memories for me and I hope that these are the memories she has someday too; summer days of playing at the park, blowing bubbles, swinging so high, and drenching herself in the cool spray of water on a warm day. Not time wasted on worrying.

sleep...

Tonight I cuddled my daughters in bed. We read our bedtime stories. Paige always lays in the middle, with Ainsleigh and I on both sides. She starts out nursing, usually holding on to a foot with one hand and my fingers with the other, while I hold the book above her head and read to Ainsleigh. She slowly becomes interested in the story and starts to reach for the pages. We usually take a break, then, for her to grab Ainsleigh's chin, while we tickle her cheeks and make silly baby noises, and we all start to laugh together. She giggles the most right before bedtime. I think Paige understands that its part of our daily rhythm together. I'm always exhausted, but it feels so nice; part of the comfort of family, separate from the daily duties and worries. Just us. I love the view, looking down at the two of them laughing together. And finally, somewhere, somehow, we sleep...

A glorious day

These days it feels like my first born is maturing by leaps and bounds. Every day she changes, uses bigger words, and makes us aware of what a little sponge she is. Last week she fell hard for her first pair of big girl shoes. But she still wears them with her fairy wings.


The little one is growing up too. She sits up by herself now, does all that rolling over stuff and is getting pretty aggressive about not wanting to sleep by herself. Urghhh. But here's proof that she CAN do it. Even if it takes 2 hours of crying it out.


Ainsleigh's been trying to keep busy with her own little projects.


A butterfly!


This just speaks for itself I think.




Thank goodness for Grandma!


We planted our first flowers this week too.


Ainsleigh got her ears pierced! I mentioned it as we stopped by claire's, thinking she'd say her usual, "No Mommy because it will hurt." But she didn't. She walked right up to the clerk and told her that she was getting her ears pierced today. Her confidence faded once she was actually in the chair. It took lots of convincing, but she went through with it in the end. I really thought we might leave with just the earrings or just one ear pierced.

She told me, "Mommy, today is the best day of my life because I have beautiful earrings!"


Paige is giggling so much these days. She doesn't really care about pierced ears, but she does love watching Ainsleigh play.


And eating her toes.

Ahh!! I just love this smile!

the power of advertisements

Ainsleigh just brought me a pretend desert and told me, "It's not really MADE with sugar. It just tastes like sugar."

I think that's a direct quote from the makers of splenda. Even with the tv off during the day, they still creep their way in...

April photos

Paige doesn't mind rice cereal too much.



Ainsleigh enjoys watching her eat it!




This baby makes the most interesting facial expressions! She cracks me up! I think she has a very good sense of humor. Wise beyond her years.



She loves grabbing her feet and even pulling her pants up ever since she figured out her hands and discovered her feet a few weeks ago.











Lately she thinks Ainsleigh is the most interesting thing ever and is constantly reaching for her face or trying to forcefully suck on her cheeks. Ainsleigh loves it!



They were so sweet together in the crib while we got ready.


Ainsleigh wanted to hold her so badly...



And they did well together until Paige saw her feet...



And just couldn't resist going for them.


We had a little picnic outside today!



Ooh Paige wanted that sandwich so badly!



It's been a sweet start to Spring!

Is today Easter?

That is the question I get every morning, before Ainsleigh's eyes are barely even open. I asked her why she wants it to be Easter so badly and she told me, "because then I get to find all those eggs!" She is so excited. I'm trying to teach her what its really all about too. I found this little Bible called the Jesus Storybook Bible and it is so perfect. She was enamored with the image of Jesus on the cross and the crown of thorns. I wondered if understood the meaning behind those images. I explained how, by doing that, Jesus paid the penalty for us so that we could live with him forever in heaven. It's hard to really know what is absorbed. I remember being little and, when I didn't really understand something, sort of making up the details for myself. Like the way that Tim thought that dogs were boys and cats were girls when he was little. A few nights later, during her nighttime prayers, she said, "...and thank you, Jesus, for dying on the cross." I thought...she gets it!

She gets a lot of things these days. Like the other night, as I held Paige, she was giving me my usual makeover with her toy makeup, and she said, "...and this product will make you look younger, Mommy." I realized, once again, that we must really watch way too much tv. Just to see what she would say, or to get an idea of how much she understood the complicated issues behind our need to use products like those, that make us look younger, I responded by saying, "Younger? You mean I'm going to look like a baby?" She surprised me by saying, "No. Don't worry. Your friends will still recognize you." Ha! I've got to be more careful with my habit of laughing out loud when she says things that aren't really meant to be funny.

Last week she went to preschool with Grandma Debbie and had a wonderful time. She even talked a lot about it with me, which is new for her. She tends to like to keep things to herself sometimes, but only when it comes to mommy and daddy. Strangers, on the other hand, can hear our life story. I asked her if she wanted to send a letter to the kids, thanking them, and she said, "only to Allison." She made a good little friend while she was there.

She also finished dance class last weekend and I'm always impressed at how much she really knows (since she likes to keep her dance lesson experiences to herself too). We got to watch a little performance where the kids demonstrated the things they learned. She was almost always the first to remember each movement. Her favorite was the hip hop move that the teacher calls the "pulling up your pants" move. Ainsleigh thinks that's hilarious!

We also got kindergarten information in the mail and we go to "roundup" next week with her. I'm so not ready for her to be "rounded up" but I guess she is ready. I have all these high ambitions of homeschooling her and teaching her all about astronomy and geography and history and doing little birdwatching type of side projects, she's so amazingly teachable, but she seems too excited and ready to go meet kids to play with. We'll see.

She's growing by leaps and bounds. Oh, and so is that little sister. She's over 17 pounds now, at 5 months old! I am loving her current stage that involves lots of sitting up/standing practice as well as nose/hair/toy grabbing, face sucking, jumping like a mad woman in her little jumperoo, and great big smiles and giggles! She is enamored with Ainsleigh and they missed each other so much while they were apart last week. I thought only Ainsleigh missed Paige but then I saw Paige's reaction to Ainsleigh once we were all back home together and realized how much she enjoys it when Ainsleigh gives her attention.

Now to contemplate the biggest of sacrifices, give thanks, and prepare our hearts for Easter!

Scenes from March

Sweet four month old, blue-eyed baby!


Sweet baby toes.


Sister love.
Sneaking a peak at Ainsleigh, dissappearing to play on her computer, and create some artwork.


On our way to go rollerskating.







Paige enjoyed the blacklights and disco ball too. But from a slightly different vantage point.


Our current wall art, note that the top painting is of Paige, Ainsleigh and I playing at the park. See the swingsets?!:



I left Paige in Ainsleigh's bed for a moment while I ran to do something. I came back to find Ainsleigh quietly reading to her. I was able to sneak a few pictures as my heart overflowed with sweetness. And a little pride too.



Ainsleigh was interested to see what Paige would look like with long hair...


I babysat this week for another sweet baby. Two sweet cheeked babies.