random

I had to share this new little guy, my friend's new baby. He was born just 5 weeks after Paige and he is so sweet. Oh...and yes...future plans of marriage have been discussed. I guess it might get complicated. Who knows? I get to brag here, that I made the blanket he is laying on! Okay, I finished the edge, but still. I think he looks especially cute on it!

And on to fake fingernails. Ainsleigh got these from her cousin, Maddy for Christmas and she just couldn't wait to put them on and have her picture taken for Maddy to see. And, of course, fake fingernails go best with barbie princess dresses.
Paige has been colicky at night. Hoping that ends soon. But very happy in the mornings. And this is exactly what they look like.
I was trying for a smile here, but I missed my moment. Right now, breakfast is turning out to be one of my favorite times of the day.

Christmas 2008 ~ A little bit of everything

I'm a little bit late this year but with good reason. My days have been spent rocking, holding, feeding, patting, calming, bathing, diapering, sneaking in a project or two with big sister, and doing a lot of gazing admiringly at two very sweet girls. All of this has been done with the realization that it is so fleeting and that, as hard as some days are, it will change all too quickly. Just a few months ago, I was thinking how nice it would be to have our baby at Christmas and now it has come and gone and we are on to new plans and new things to look forward to as 2009 (YIKES!) is here.


Ainsleigh was so grown up this Christmas. She really enjoyed helping out with the big girl things, like writing out the gift tags and wrapping presents. If only we had more gifts to give. She was so disappointed when we came to the last one.

We did our, what has become, traditional Christmas Eve sugar cookie baking and sat them out for Santa, along with some carrots for his reindeer, of course.


The letter says, "Thank you for the presents" with all the words smushed together. Ainsleigh still has to learn to put spaces between her words, but she's been writing her letters really well for awhile now.

Christmas morning, Ainsleigh was equally as happy to wake up to baby sister as she was to see her presents. But Paige...well...Paige seemed unaffected and slept through most of it.

No matter how hard big sis would try to get her attention.

We did manage to wake her for a few pictures under the tree and to open her presents. You can tell by her expression in the pictures, she was still unaffected.


Christmas Day was spent with Tim's family. Paige slept through a lot of it and Ainsleigh was happy to open her presents for her, although she is never too impressed with clothes, which seems to be what babies get most of for Christmas! Thank goodness!





Christmas night was spent at my parents' house. My sister, Meghan, and her family were there too so we enjoyed a breakfast of banana/walnut pancakes made by Uncle Ryan. Paige looks so cuddly bundled up! She handles it pretty well most of the time.

Eden loves to admire Paige. I'm glad we got to spend this time with our cousins!



The day after Christmas we spent with my extended family. It was really nice and mellow. Here Paige is smiling repeatedly at my Aunt Linda as my Dad holds her. I don't think my Aunt realized how lucky she was!


Ainsleigh took responsibility for making introductions. Sometimes she is so self-confident beyond her years. We're not sure where all that confidence came from but I hope she always has it.



We planned to come home after the party but the weather had other plans. It wasn't snow. It was fog. Terrible fog that had us feeling completely turned around after only a few miles. We tried to make it back to stay at my parents' but just couldn't make it. Paige was screaming too, which didn't help as we were losing all sense of direction in the fog. We pulled off to check the rates at a hotel right off the highway and luckily they had rooms available because we probably wouldn't have made it out of their iced over parking lot. We made the most of it. Paige slept so well that night and the next day!


Ainsleigh always enjoys staying at hotels and likes to find the little notepads they leave to write letters to everyone. It's pretty cute. Good thing the kids had new, clean, Christmas clothes to wear. They came in handy a little earlier than we expected!


The next few days we spent time at home, with Tim off work, just snuggling in our pajamas, doing a little baking, video game playing, and movie watching.


I had to add this sequence of Ainsleigh in her new jammies, with her various poses. She's regaining her joy of being photographed!






So now the tree is down, the presents are being played with, the new books are being read reapeatedly, as Ainsleigh tries to keep herself entertained while we manage our ever changing routine with this new baby. The sad part is, that she isn't so new anymore! It has been a nice close to 2008, the year that brought us so many unanticipated things. A very grown up Ainsleigh and a beautiful new baby. I'm trying to just slow down, breathe, and enjoy it although its hard, and I have my moments of insanity! Christmas was simple and sweet, just the way we like it.

winding down

Ahhh! It's so nice to be home. Christmas was really nice. The baby was so sweet and so good throughout all the new surroundings, new arms holding her, and all the noise, but I think she's glad to be home too. She always grows up a little with the new stimulation from being away from home and so this morning we have really noticed a difference. She woke up flashing us smile after smile and, for the first time, started really making little talking noises! We've been waiting for this but every time up until now, what has seemed like promising talking has just been a prelude to outright crying. This morning she repeated the same coos followed by smiles! Her smiles are so sweet. They start out little and end with a huge, open mouth grin. We can't seem to catch it on film yet. Hopefully soon. The picture above is what I see, looking down at Paige after she falls asleep nursing after her bath. It's so sweet.

Right now she is sleeping soundly in her swing, catching up with her familiar routine. Ainsleigh caught up on some sleep too. She loved spending time with family and could probably keep going with no sleep at all, but is much less grouchy now that she has slept in. It's been so nice to be together, with Tim off work the last few days. We're adjusting more to Paige and she is growing up enough to be happier and a little more predictable so I'm not really ready for his vacation time to be over, but I guess it all must end at some point. On to 2009. I am so not ready for that.

moments

The pride of a big sister. I kind of remember that myself, being a "big sister" to two siblings. I don't really remember Meghan as a baby, but I remember the day my parents brought Carly home from the hospital. I remember hopping down off the school bus and the driver (this really nice old lady who just recently passed away....yeah, my hometown is small so I can keep tabs on things like that) saying, "So I hear you have a new baby sister at your house today!" and my response being, "Yeah...and a new swingset."

I think I was actually really excited, but it kind of faded when baby Carly seemed to do nothing but cry all the time, especially if anyone other than my mom was holding her. That was so hard because here I was, old enough to want to help out and hold this beautiful little toy...I mean baby, but she didn't seem to like me very much. Or anyone other than my Mom for that matter.

Ainsleigh is experiencing this feeling right now. I keep telling her it will get better as Paige gets older. Still, we have moments like the one I got to capture above that make up for some of it. I'm pretty happy with my baby sister these days although we had our moments growing up, as bossy big sisters and annoying little sisters go. I miss her like crazy when she's on the other side of the planet and there is a part of me that only my sisters know. I'm excited to see what stories these girls will have to tell as they grow up. I'm thinking some of them will involve me, and probably not always in the most positive light (sorry Mom), but they will be their stories and I can't really control how they remember everything! Lots of memories of me sitting in the chair, rocking and feeding. That will be Christmas with Paige, year #1. I can hear Ainsleigh telling it now...

I hope they always look at each other so adoringly

What will the future hold for these two? I am so excited to find out. I wonder what my life would be like without my sisters and I am so glad that Paige and Ainsleigh will always have each other.

This weekend we put the Christmas tree up with our big helper, Ainsleigh, while Paige slept. Ainsleigh really enjoyed it this year and had fun going through the ornaments and hearing the stories behind them. It's been a really nice, long, relaxing weekend. Much of it spent at home with our beautiful new baby, but I'm glad we could do that, especially on a snowy day like today. We were all pretty excited and surprised to open the curtains and see all the snow already settled. We're really a family of four now and it is a little crazy to think that we are responsible for these two beautiful little girls. I am thankful for so much this year, especially when I look at Paige and watch her sleep so peacefully unaware of how long we have waited for her and prayed for her safe, healthy arrival. She has no idea what a miracle she is to all of us. I guess that calm feeling is spreading to each one of us and I am really thankful for that most of all.

she's here!

Paige is here! I know, it is kind of old news, well two-week-old news, but this is the first opportunity I've had to write it out. It was the most amazing experience and it already seems like it was so long ago. All the worries and concerns, wondering if I'd end up with another c-section or if my vbac (vaginal birth after caesarean) would be successful and safe, are over and it was just more than I could have even planned for it to be. Tuesday, November 11th my sister Meghan had come to visit. We made soup and coffee and sat and talked while the kids played. I was having contractions throughout the day, but it was so nice and calm. Really the perfect day to go into labor.

It was 4 days before my due date and I had started to believe it would be awhile before Paige would decide to come. Meghan got ready to go shortly after Tim got home from work at 5: 30. But, as she got ready to get her coat on, I stood up and walked into the dining room and felt a little gush. I was convincing myself that I just peed my pants a little (pregnant women do that...or so I've heard) but then it happened again and again. Meghan, Tim and I packed my things as we called family and then headed to the hospital around 6:30. It was so perfect that Meghan was there. We said goodbye to Ainsleigh who was totally preoccupied with playing with her cousins, she didn't seem to understand what was happening no matter how much we had prepared her for it.

We got to the hospital, I stepped out of the jeep, and my water completely broke, soaking my pants. It was a little embarrassing walking into the hospital that way, but I think everyone understood! We were all checked into our room and ready to settle in for a long night at around 7:30. My wonderful midwife called and said she'd be on her way in about an hour. My contractions really picked up right before she got there and I was in active labor. I am just so glad that I had her and I sort of doubt that I would have had the experience I did without her. She stayed the entire night and talked TIm and I through each contraction. It was the most pain I've ever experienced, but by 11:30, just a few short hours later, it was over and my daughter was in my arms, safe and healthy. My parents were in the room the entire time, my Dad snuck behind the curtain when I'd get checked and when I pushed. My midwife was so surprised at how big Paige turned out to be and so was I. Tim was really great. He took the midwife's instructions well and rubbed my back as I cried and screamed, or breathed loudly(!) in the shower and in the bed. When it was time to push, it was really neat to have everyone there encouraging me because I honestly didn't believe I could do it at that point. I did have an epidural right before I started pushing, but I still felt everything. I think it might have taken the edge off the contractions, but not by much. Really though, I wouldn't change anything. It somehow makes me feel really strong and proud of what I accomplished and I will never have to wonder what it all feels like. Tim wasn't into cutting the cord, so my midwife called my Dad over and told him to do it. I think Dad is really proud that he played a part in everything. I can't believe my labor was so short. It was one of the best experiences of my life and I hope I never forget it.

It was all so peaceful, even with the pain. It felt like I was among people who loved me, wanted to encourage me, and were as excited to meet Paige as I was. I am so glad for that comfortable environment in which to welcome this third baby. It was nothing like the sterile, surgical environment we had with Addie and we are so glad to have made the new, joyful memories we have made. It was such a lesson in God's faithfulness. My midwife laid Paige on my stomach the second she was born, and I got to to hold her and cuddle her as they cleaned her up, then breastfed her right away. I'll never forget that feeling as I sat there looking into her little eyes for the first time, comforting her after the trauma of being born-the first of many comforts, touching her little back and thinking about how much she looked like Ainsleigh, the dark wavy hair, the brow, the sweet little pink lips. She is here, she is sweet and calm, she is so loved already and we are all just ecstatic!

passing the time

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before, but I'm really tired and ready to have this baby. Since she seems to want to stay put, we've been trying to pass the time doing as much to keep Ainsleigh occupied as I can manage. Yesterday we went to a Halloween party with our playgroup. Ainsleigh was really happy to be running around, playing hide and seek under the table, and just generally going a little crazy with other kids. That was BEFORE she even had any candy.


She was very focused making Halloween houses with bean ghosts. This was right up her alley.


She begged to hold the baby for the group photo and it is all she has talked about since. I just can't wait to see her with Paige. She really is gentle but it must be a baby's instinct to look worried when an anxious four year old is holding them. I remember Addie looking the same way!


Ainsleigh and "the other Paige." They play really well together, they're both four!


And one final picture of the two of us with the baby is still yet to be born. It took everything Ainsleigh had to stop playing and pose with mommy. She had a really good day but its amazing how little it takes to wear me out these days!