hot air balloon launch

Dear Ainsleigh,

Five years ago today...

I had no idea what it would be like

to cuddle you close

or be cuddled by you.

To hold your little hand in mine

and watch it grow.

To see you take your first steps

and hear your little voice

change from that of a 2 year old

to that of a quite eloquent little 5 year old.

I could not imagine

the attention span you would have.

That you could listen

all day

to the same book

but already have it memorized

after the first reading.

I didn't know that you

would be a fabulous little artist

that you would be happy

spending your days

with nothing but a notepad and a pencil.

Or that you would sit by my side

day in and day out

as we took care of a little baby

not meant for this Earth.

And that you would comprehend that.

And love her with all of your heart. Still.

When you were just two.

But then, when you were four,

you would welcome

another baby sister

who you would love with all of your heart

and want to name smileyface

or orange minge.

And who you would make giggle.

Like no one else could.

How could I know

that you would love to dance,

to sing, to pet every dog you see?

Or that you would need

to sit by my side

every morning

and drink your milk

before your day could really start.

And you would have

computer skills unmatched

by anyone your age.

You would make your

Daddy so proud.

And that you would
love to cook.

To go to starbucks

and color with mommy.

That you would be so happy

in those little moments.

I didn't know

that I could look

at anyone

and love them

so

much.

With my whole heart.

You are a very cool

fascinating

smart

beautiful

confident

brown-eyed girl.

Five years ago I had no idea

what I had been missing all those years before.

Happy 5th Birthday my daughter!

Change...

Things around here are changing. Paige is really growing, eating solids, rolling herself wherevershe wants to go, grabbing whatever she wants, and making noises that sound a little more like real talking. But most of all, Ainsleigh is growing up. She's really ready for kindergarten now. She tells people, "The next time I go to school, it won't just be for round-up. It will be all day long, like real school."

In the past month, she has gotten her ears pierced, rode her bike down a big hill, feet held out over the pedals with no fear. She has been a big help to me, an entertainer to her baby sister. I've watched her at playdates, helping the smaller kids and talking to them with gentleness. She isn't perfect, but she is really maturing. It is happening a little too fast.

That is why, two days ago, when I mentioned that maybe it would be nice if she cut her hair a little shorter for summer, I wasn't actually prepared for her to agree. Then, when it came time to make that cut, I just couldn't do it. But she wasn't backing down. "It's okay Mommy, just do it. It will grow back."

I suppose it will grow back. I put on a brave face and told her it would probably be long by her birthday. But she has no regrets. Daddy was a little sad to see her long hair gone too. It is really growing on us now. It bounces with her.

hello sun!

Welcome back warm weather! We have spent everyday this week outside, with me being leery of sunburn. Fortunately, the only damage is some rosy cheeks. Ainsleigh tans. But the creamy white, nearly translucent baby skin worries me. Today I stood with baby Paige asleep in the sling, enjoying the cool breeze blowing against her sweet cheeks and the spaces between her body and mine, watching Ainsleigh laugh while she played with the other kids spraying themselves with water. Getting soaked, but not caring a bit! It brought back memories for me and I hope that these are the memories she has someday too; summer days of playing at the park, blowing bubbles, swinging so high, and drenching herself in the cool spray of water on a warm day. Not time wasted on worrying.

sleep...

Tonight I cuddled my daughters in bed. We read our bedtime stories. Paige always lays in the middle, with Ainsleigh and I on both sides. She starts out nursing, usually holding on to a foot with one hand and my fingers with the other, while I hold the book above her head and read to Ainsleigh. She slowly becomes interested in the story and starts to reach for the pages. We usually take a break, then, for her to grab Ainsleigh's chin, while we tickle her cheeks and make silly baby noises, and we all start to laugh together. She giggles the most right before bedtime. I think Paige understands that its part of our daily rhythm together. I'm always exhausted, but it feels so nice; part of the comfort of family, separate from the daily duties and worries. Just us. I love the view, looking down at the two of them laughing together. And finally, somewhere, somehow, we sleep...

A glorious day

These days it feels like my first born is maturing by leaps and bounds. Every day she changes, uses bigger words, and makes us aware of what a little sponge she is. Last week she fell hard for her first pair of big girl shoes. But she still wears them with her fairy wings.


The little one is growing up too. She sits up by herself now, does all that rolling over stuff and is getting pretty aggressive about not wanting to sleep by herself. Urghhh. But here's proof that she CAN do it. Even if it takes 2 hours of crying it out.


Ainsleigh's been trying to keep busy with her own little projects.


A butterfly!


This just speaks for itself I think.




Thank goodness for Grandma!


We planted our first flowers this week too.


Ainsleigh got her ears pierced! I mentioned it as we stopped by claire's, thinking she'd say her usual, "No Mommy because it will hurt." But she didn't. She walked right up to the clerk and told her that she was getting her ears pierced today. Her confidence faded once she was actually in the chair. It took lots of convincing, but she went through with it in the end. I really thought we might leave with just the earrings or just one ear pierced.

She told me, "Mommy, today is the best day of my life because I have beautiful earrings!"


Paige is giggling so much these days. She doesn't really care about pierced ears, but she does love watching Ainsleigh play.


And eating her toes.

Ahh!! I just love this smile!

the power of advertisements

Ainsleigh just brought me a pretend desert and told me, "It's not really MADE with sugar. It just tastes like sugar."

I think that's a direct quote from the makers of splenda. Even with the tv off during the day, they still creep their way in...