There is so much we need to get done but the last few days we've all been feeling a little blah. Ainsleigh's been feeding the fish over and over, whether they need it or not because, "they look hungry mommy." She's also been watering the plants over and over just finding excuses to get outside. I've been thinking a lot about the future, like always, wondering what I should do once Ainsleigh and baby smileyface (Ainsleigh's name for the baby) get older. It's been hard, feeling like I'm not getting anything accomplished, worrying about failures, things I've put on the backburner. It's all gotten so fuzzy and so overwhelming, like life is just passing by and I'm getting older and what do I have to show for it? You know the kind of thoughts. It's easy to feel that way right now, with all the morning sickness keeping me from getting much done. I know it's just temporarily piling up.
Last night Ainsleigh and I were talking about the things we've done and what she was like when she was a baby. I've watched her learn so many new things and now she's starting to really put all we've worked so hard to teach her into practice. I guess that is what it has all been for. When I'm starting to feel out of touch with everything beyond my little family and I'm wondering if it is enough, moments like the ones we captured in these pictures help to put it all in perspective. That, and waking up to rain showers, some really great news from good friends, another day of once again realizing that some things just aren't in my control, it's all really actually very good.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Stephanie, just listen to Oprah. There's this really good book she's working so hard to promote. I think you could really use it right now." Were you? It seems to have worked for so many. Hmm. Maybe someday I'll have my "aha" moment.
Seriously though, I think sometimes I just feel guilty for getting to spend so much time with my little girl, and loving it so much. Oh, and we made the mistake of watching Oprah the other day. And maybe I'm just seeing too many metaphors in the swimming of the new fish in the tiny fishbowl.
1 comment:
STOP WATCHING OPRAH!!! Enjoy spending the time with Ainsleigh. Never feel guilty for it. You are an AMAZING mommy, Stephanie! You do your job so well! I am constantly thinking of things that you do with Ainsleigh that I should be doing with Lauren and always blow off. You are so creative and encouraging to Ainsleigh and I think you should look at all you are accomplishing in your home! You are growing and producing beautiful little humans who are amazing gifts to the world! :) I've been where you are, though, (and still go back there from time to time) so I understand. Seriously, though, don't read anything Oprah tells you to and most certainly don't watch her. LOL. Hope you and Ainsleigh got to see some sunshine today! XOXO
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